Mermories - Phan
by SinisterHowell
Summary: This is my first phan so im not sure if its like okay. Does Dan finally let out his feelings for his best friend Phil? or was it all just a dream? i'm sory, i really can't do summeries like seriosuly
1. Chapter 1 Dinner

As i woke up to the glorious sun shining through my window, stretching my arms out and yawning. the sudden rush of memories from last night come flooding back as i look frantically around then room, was it true?...

**Three days before;**

Sat in the car waiting for Phil to get ready, my mind starts to wonder into places i can only ever dream about, being right next to my perfect, Phil Lester, going on romantic picnics and gazing into eachother eyes for hours under the stars, holding his soft hand in mine, oh how much i wanted to tell him the truth about how i was feeling, but i couldn't... before i knew it had already been 15 minutes and Phil was banging on the window to let him in from the rain

"Dan?, DAN!"

i looked out the window to see him standing there looking hopelessly lost

"DAN! let me in its raining and im cold!"

"Alright, alright!" i shouted back unlocking the door

_Shit, he looked hot _

"what the hell Dan? i was shouting for 5 minutes! you went all fricking zombie on me, sleeping with your eyes open, did you even sleep last night?" phil shouted at me as he looked at me with disapointed yet concerned look in his eyes

"Yeah, sorry i was just day dreaming i guess" i replied shurgging my shoulders

i look up at his and our eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity, i knew if i gazed into his eyes any longer i would sure of kissed him, so i cleared my throat and started the engine, we drove to Phil's parents house for dinner, we shortly arrived and was greeted by Phil's parents, it wasn't a special occasion like usual, we just fancied doing something different for the so that is what we decided to do

"Daniel, how nice to see you again love" Phil's mum said with her arms out to hug me

"and how lovely it is to see you again Mrs Lester" i said returning the hug

Phil's mum liked me, she said i was a good influence on Phil when it came to him getting out the house, i could never understand how though, all i do is sat on my beanbag infront on the ps3 or xbox all day and almost always be on the laptop reblogging pictures on Tumblr and tweeting pointless things on Twitter.

"So Dan, got any lucky lady in your life yet?" Phil's mum asked during dinner

"oh, erm, not at the moment, i think i'm quiet happy being single living with my best friend" i replied smiling at Phil


	2. Chapter 2 Accidents happen, right?

_**CHAPTER 2**_

Dinner had finished and we were now on our journey home, i was speeding as usual but we've never got into anything dangerous before

"Dan, slow down. we could crash!" phil complained

he always complained about my driving, whether it was too fast or too slow, never once was it okay or 'perfect'

"Phil, calm down. i'm only going, oh shit, i'm going 120, i don't think-"

my sentence was cut short by a terriflying, unforgettable scream coming from phil.

"DDAAAN!"

i was swerving all over the road, spinning into two cars.

Then it went black... what had happened? am i dead? was phil okay? with all these things running through my mind, one stood it out more from the rest. _Phil..._

i gained consiousness. when i opened my eyes all i saw was blood dripping from the, now broken, winshield. I turned my head to see Phil staring at me with blood pouring down his face

_he's hurt and it's all my fault..._

"Ph-Phil" i managed to say his name is a broken, high pitched voice

he blinked, he's alive, but barely breathing_, _what have i done? i've caused the only person i love to be in soo much pain he's unable to speak or move.

_**well done dan. You just don't know when to stop do you? **_

_they'll be help arriving any minute. he'll be okay._

there they where, fighting again. i knew it wasn't normal hearing voices in my head. I always thought it was my own, but it's not. it's Chris and Pj's voices. Chris's being the nagative (the boldest) and Pj's being the possitive (the unblod one) They once were the same loudness but over the year, the negative voice got louder while the positive got quieter. But i didn't care about the voices, all i ever cared about was Phil and if _he _was okay.

"D-D-Dan" Phil let out, what sounded like his final breath.


	3. Chapter 3 - Finding Phil

_**Okay guys, so i decided to upload chapter 3 today, i was going to tomorrow, but idk... and for those of you who follow my tumblr, yes i know i kinda changed a name in it, oh and PrincessRaven... good look with your heart attack sweet heart 3 enjoy this one guys. feels away...**_

_**CHAPTER 3**_

I awoke at the hospital with wires attached everywhere and flowers, cards and balloons around me, my vuision was dizzy but i had to get up, i had to see Phil, i ripped the wires off my body and attempted to get up, falling to the ground, Raven caught me just in time before i hit the floor

"I need to see Phil!" i shouted trying to get to the door, holding myself up on every wall i passed.

"Dan, please get back into bed, you need to stay and rest" Raven explained practically carrying me back to the bed, i need to see phil, i needed to know if he's okay.

_**GOD DAMN IT DAN. ALWAYS FUCKING THINGS UP. JUST DO AS YOU'RE TOLD FOR ONCE AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT...AGAIN...**_

_It'll be okay_

The second voice is getting more quieter every minute, but constantly trying to fight back the stronger more powerful voice.

"Dan..." Raven said softly as she sat in the chair and ran her fingers through her hair. " we need to talk... we've noticed the... well, cuts on your arm, and if it wasn't them being words, we would have let it go and think its with the accident, but, we know it's self-harm and not off the crash"

_**OH WELL DONE. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN THEN? NOW EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE A LITTLE EMO FAGGOT THAT DOESN'T HAVE THE GUTS TO CUT DEEP ENOUGH TO END IT ALL.**_

_They're just confronting you because they're worried. There's nothing wrong with being TO_

oh, i forgot about that. i'm normally used to wearing jumpers and long sleeves, but i didn't think about being in the hospital clothes which normally have no sleeves. I pulled up my knees to my chest and looked at my arms, they're covered in bandages with blood seeping through. How does she know that i self-harm if i have bandages on? did she get here before we arrived?

"I, erm. I'm fine, really. i just want to see Phil, where is he?" i'm still insisting in on seeing Phil and brush off the fact it's me with the mental illnesses and issues. I didn't care aslong as i knew Phil was okay. Phil was all that mattered to me.

"The thing with Phil is... well.. i dunno how to put this.. but -"

before she could even finish her sentence i was running down the corridoors, searching, shouting for Phil, knockin geverything in my way, it can't be true, he can't be dead... no, it's all my fault

_**OH WELL THIS IS GREAT ISN'T IT DAN? THE ONE PERSON YOU ACTUALLY LOVED IS GONE, BECAUSE OF YOU. I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN, BUT NO, YOU'RE TOO SELFISH TO LISTEN. fuck up.**_

_It's going to be okay, don't worry. she didn't exsactly say he was dead did she? stop over-thinking things and calm down. it'll be okay._

oh god, how much i wanted to believe the second voice, how much i wanted to believe it was incredible, i mean, things like this doesn't happen though does it? that it'll be all okay in the end...he's too young to die.

"DAN, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? PLEASE COME BACK. YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HURT YOURSELF EVEN MORE" Raven shouted after me from the doorway of the room i was in, but i didn't take any notice of her, i was in such adrenaline that i didn't care about anything else but finding phil.

Every corner i turned i felt more and more tears prick my eyes, but then i saw it. A whiteboard dangling down from a nail in the door, his name was written on it...should i open the door?...

_**Notice what's in the window dan? do you FUCKING see what's behind the other side? have YOU FUCKING SEEN HIM IN THERE? **_

_oh, daniel..._


	4. Chapter 4 Truth be told

_**CHAPTER 4 ~ Truth be told...**_

There he was, laying lifeless, covered in wires and bandages, what have i done? it's all my fault! he's dead because of me, what would i do without him? if only i had told him just how much he meant to me

I opened the door, running straight for Phil, i took his hand in mine as the tears were now falling fast down my cheeks and onto the floor, all i could feel was pain, anger, guilt, it was all destroying me, i couldn't believe it, i just sat there in the chair beside his bed, holding his hand, crying, ignoring anyone trying to make me feel better

"I-I'm sorry Phil, i'm s-s-so sorry, i didn't mean for any of this to h-happen, it's all my f-fault, i'm so sorry"

"Dan, he's f-"

"NO. ITS ALL MY FAULT. EVERYTHING IS ALL my fault!" i screamed at Wraven before noticing the sounds in the room, a heart monitor? when did a heart monitor get in the room? was it mine? or... PHIL! he's the only one in the room, it has to be his.

"He's not dead Dan, don't worry, he'll be fine, please, come back to your room... you need to rest" Wraven came closer to me, placing a warm hand on my shoulder

_**he's not dead, but he's not awake either is he?**_

He's right, he may not be dead, but he isn't awake either.. what have i done to him?

_Maybe he's just sleeping, i told you he'll be fine, don't worry about him_

i looked up at Wraven and saw that Amy was standing behind her with a sypathetic smile on her face, she was never good at these type of situations,she never liked going near the hospital since the day her sister died in a car crash, how ironic, right? she was driving, but not over the speed limit, she was turning the round about when a truck beside her started tipping over and eventually it crushed the car, unfortunately her sister got most of the impact and Amy survived, the doctors and nurses said she is very lucky to be alive, walking and speaking.

"Come one, you're bleeding and need to be in bed Dan. He'll be okay, don't worry" Wraven took my arm and started taking me back to my room, only then i noticed blood seeping from my right side near my ribs. But where did it come from? Oh yeah, the crash...


End file.
